I've heard this ability to be warm and creamily delicious on the outside and stone cold on the inside described as being like an avocado.
Now don't get me wrong, I love avocados and I have my wonderful wife to thank for turning me on to them. It only took a few years of offers and lots of encouragement but I finally did discover that guacamole rules!
Think about an avocado though, it's soft and mushy on the outside and chalked full of deliciousness. It fits right in with salads, sandwiches, and spreads. It appears ever so harmless, just a slice of goodness you can't wait to smash up, add some spice and tuck right into. Folks like this are super easy going and fit right into any social situation.
I invite you to look underneath that layer of wonderful, creamy awesomeness, and you'll discover a hard stone that will cause unwanted dental work. No joke.
So where does this come from? 'This ability to be warm, welcoming and wholehearted one minute and turn so cold the next that a person can stop acknowledging the offending folks. Being in learning and development for a bunch of years, I know that folks get conditioned, condition themselves, and condition others to do what works. Consciously or subconsciously, we discover and stick to ways of operating in the world that work for us. We stick with them, although they might become obstacles, because they are familiar.
We stick with them until they don't work anymore.
Until a year or so ago, I lived my life as an avocado and realized that what had worked for me, though comfortable, simply wasn't working anymore. It wasn't because it prevented me from doing what I really wanted with my life. I talked a lot about how I wanted to be, but something always stopped me.
So I went to work, learned why I operated as I did, decided how I wanted to be, and begin practicing. No one does it alone and I didn't either. What's cool is that the practice continues and the act of becoming hasn't slowed.
The ability to respond versus react. The ability to commit to process versus outcome. The ability to accept versus control. What held me back doesn't anymore as I've learned how to get complete and move forward.
Am I perfect? Heck no! Just happy in the journey and thrilled with the progress! Come join me.